Honestly…its so hard to put this into words.
Jesus has promised…
I will not leave you as orpans; I am coming to you.
My heart breaks when I see these little lives…seemingly abandoned. Seemingly just left. But no. Jesus has promised He won’t abandon them. He’s promised to come to them. He IS coming to them even know. To bring beauty out of ashes and joy out of sadness. And I’ve seen Him do it over and over.
And getting to spend more one on one time (ok. More like one on seven time!) With these kids, whether it’s chasing a soccer ball, jump roping until your sides hurt, hanging out with them on the playground or just taking a little extra patience for that one or two kids in school who pester you with any and every question! Or taking the time to remember each name. I’ve come to know most of the kids on a more personal level, to a place where I’ll walk by them and a bunch of “hola ana!” are said followed by a bunch of little arms around my waist. And it’s this that I’ve come to love. Getting to know each of them on a more personal level.
And I love watching their personalities blossom and bloom. Watching them grow and learn. Watching as something gives them joy. watching them laugh and smile.
Last Friday I taught Prepa with the school director, and in the morning we have prayer, and listening to this little boy, who doesn’t have much himself, pray for those kids who don’t have food. Who don’t have anything. Truly a humbling moment, and I honestly started to cry. Seeing their tender hearts come out for others.
1 1/2 months left. And having a terrible time with it. I don’t want to be another person to walk out of their lives. I don’t want to leave what’s become my life. I don’t want to not be able to walk up the stairs and have a good laugh with all my little friends. I don’t want to not be able to see them in church, singing and praising their hearts out to the King of kings. I don’t want to stop holding little hands and getting little hugs and kisses. I don’t want to stop all of this that has come to mean so so much to me.
It’s tearing me apart to leave. And maybe I’m just a mess but randomly crying is becoming kinda normal.
I’ve been asking God to let me come back. And have honestly prayed about coming back for a lot longer of a time.
I honestly believe this is where I am to be! And all I can do is to look back at these past months and say “thank you.” Thank you for the person you’ve changed me into. Thank you for these tough opportunities to lay my selfishness down and love others. Thank you for all these lives I’ve come to know. Thank you for your goodness in what ever comes to be. Even when I don’t understand any of it. Thank you that you are good and faithful through it all! Thank you, thank you that you ARE coming to these young lives!